I
was abducted by a flying saucer containing a couple of drunken aliens in sailor
suits. They landed on the rings of Saturn and offered me some of their swill.
It had a fruity taste but after a couple of swallows I was as plastered as they
were. They told me how our solar system is the galaxies’ dump and every space
craft that journeys by jettisons its garbage into the cluster of asteroids that
use to be the sole habitat of Pluto.
They said the only reason anyone came
to my backwards planet was to screw with us. Our top minds were like newborns
and didn’t know a fraction of what their kids in kindergarten knew. Besides
people are always freaking out any time they get a glimpse of a UFO. It was
good for an alien laugh, a lay over on the way to the center of the Milky Way.
When I asked the secret to world peace they just blinked at me and said, “Stop
killing each other.” Then they just seemed bored and took me back to Earth.
They laughed as they shoved me out the door while the vessel was still moving
and I hit the ground rolling. By the time I gained my feet they were nowhere to
be seen. I was miffed by their ill treatment but I have to admit that getting
to travel in space was pretty cool.
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