dark days dancing toward a determined date

did matter arrive through the back end of a black hole?

the event horizon ravaging another universe?

random atoms colliding?

if there is a god can we be as close as some believe?

finger touching finger on the ceiling of the sistine?

 

i cannot ponder the stars like david

the sky is a woven blanket of clouds

the surrounding lights seem feeble

as rain washes everyone from the sidewalks

except me

 

this is not my first midnight excursion

with the fellowship of the rain

once i woke at 3 p.m.

and had to ask a neighbor

what that yellow thing was in the sky

 

now nothing is dry

the downpour is deafening

i peel off everything but my jeans

wrap myself in rain

and shadows of the sallow lights

 

i burst into laughter and break into a run

then return to my jacket

and fish out a 22 ounce silver can of sapporo

from the left side pocket

and put my wet clothes back on

 

i realize i forgot to remember my cigarettes

i had put in a ziploc plastic bag

the one thing i will protect from the rain

i will not last the whole night without them

and go searching for a 24 hour store

 

the clerk says,

“man you must have really needed a cigarette”

i smile and tell him to keep the change

hangout under the outside overhang

and have a smoke while i open another beer

 

visibility unclear

but the only thing that matters

is soon i will need a bathroom

or slip behind the dumpster

the rain will wash away the evidence

 

no one will ever know i was here

but the same will be said when i’ve had my last beer

and my unclaimed body is cremated

and how i once pondered

randomness versus fate

 

***