the view from up north

(they only hit until you cry

after that you don’t ask why

-suzanne vega)

 

you say i can’t be saved

i can’t be loved

 

god has only one dove

and it was already sent

 

his time is not leant

toward those who are not strong

 

because god cannot see

what you do not perceive

 

but i believe

when my parents hit me

and i begged,

“please”

 

god’s tears did not ease

his northern sorrow

 

and i grew up

and screwed everything up

because i only know how to cover up

 

how to bob and weave

how to chameleon please

hiding under the bed does not appease

because monsters know you’re down there

 

and i know god knows

why

my smile is a cry

and i stay away from a world

that hates weakness

rolls it’s eyes and says,

“get over it”

 

where you judge

god saw

children cannot uphold the law

they are not strong enough

to hold anything

but their favorite stuffed animal

their only comfort in a suburban home

an hour after mommy or daddy just got home

and hurt you more with words then with fist

but neither one missed

 

god is not the law

the tablets broke like straw

god is the one who saw

and knows why

i fail when i try

 

so go ahead

approach god

tell him to get off his throne

because you want to sit on it for awhile

he will not move

his eye is on this child

 

and he understands why

 

***