Wednesday, August 27, 2014

cigarettes and late night liquor


i was at a bar

across from me in this rectangle

was an asian woman

more beautiful than any woman

i have ever seen

 

she was staring at me

when our eyes met

she smiled

 

i looked away

 

finished my beer

left money on the rectangle

and headed for a breath

of late night smog

 

lit a smoke

and started walking

stopped

thought

of her beauty

her smile

 

twisted the top off my flask

drained it

 

started walking again

 

i know it is foolish to believe

in fairness and justice

they are concepts

they do not exist

as there is no divine to dispense

 

but i still can’t help hope for happiness

but where is it to be found?

i was happy in her arms

but she left

 

should i move to atlanta, georgia

so i can stalk molly ringwald?

would that bring happiness?

 

i continue walking

start singing runaway train

by soul asylum

 

in the dark streets of decay

i wrote about the loss of the love

of a woman

but i think it was really about

the loss of faith in god

 

i use to sit on santa’s lap

tell him what i wanted

and there it would be

under the tree

 

where is that tree?

 

i thought i knew things

i don’t know shit

 

well i do know that i don’t know

what i want

 

or maybe i do

and what i want is what i do

walk

drink

write

alienate

 

i make no vows

that i will not make the same mistake

and not look for happiness

in her flesh

but tonight

when she smiled

i looked away

and took my place

on these dark streets of decay

 

***

 

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