title too long

          (nothing makes me question the meaning of life more

          then meeting a past love)

 

standing in the rain

surrounded by those who can’t stand the rain

 

some of us feel raindrops

others just get wet

 

either way i lost the bet

i kinda thought i was getting it together

staying out of the inclement weather

 

a week without a cigarette

and just as long since something wet my lips

 

daylight and walking down the avenue

when suddenly you came into view

and ichabod became my name

 

it was too late

you had seen me

and with all my weight lifting muscles

i was powerless as you approached

 

you said hello

and it was nice to see me

that you had moved back to l. a.

and maybe we could get together sometime

to catch up

 

i almost threw up

babbled words that were not what i meant to say

and watched you go on your way

 

i wanted to scream, “Bitch!

Fuck-you for leaving me!

And i don’t need you in my life anymore!”

 

fortunately no one was keeping score

and saw that i just got shut out zero to forty-four

 

a convenience mart was the closest door

and i fled

bought cigarettes, irish whiskey and a flask for tourists

that had a palm tree and los angeles on the front

 

behind the store i fill the flask

and open the pack

when i realize i don't have a lighter

 

i crumble against the wall

the losing fighter

and sink down its side till my butt hits concrete

 

trash strewn about my feet

and the dumpster defines this dog returning to its vomit

 

god let me be a comet

that travels past pluto

that is so far away we no longer consider it family

before gravity makes me return

and pass by this ball of granite again

 

old lovers can’t be friends

and trust and faith and love

are too much for two people to carry

 

we think this will be all that we need

then the other cuts us and we bleed

and the meaning of life

is built on a foundation of sand

 

but the flask is still in my hand

and nighttime is less than an hour away

i take a sip and remember that decay

is the true destiny of all that holds sway

 

i regain the sidewalk

and ask someone passing for a light

i take my first drag and another sip

and now i am just waiting for the night

 

as the first drops of rain fall

 

without being in the forecast

 

***