any last words?

pink bathing suit and cotton candy hair

again her white skin

was the reason i stared

 

overcast at the ocean

but she was trampling the surf

like it was the brightest of sunny days

 

i was reading the memoir of the christian god

my finger lingering on the spot

where i left off

to watch her

 

back then i needed nothing else

sea salt was on her skin

and all i could think

was how i wanted to taste it

 

tonight she has texted me

wondering if i wanted to get together for a drink

and my mind sinks

into a pool of memories

 

she and i

but that was before the dark streets of decay

what now could i say

except that all innocence is gone

and i don’t believe in ghosts

 

especially the ones from a love that died long ago

they say love is eternal

and the fact that i haven’t smashed the phone

that received her text

just might be the proof the jury needs to convict

 

my fingers touch my phone

and send,

“i’m at the bar where our laughter still lingers”

 

if she remembers and she shows

should i get on one knee and propose?

 

a slight pain makes me look down

i have picked at the skin on my thumb

till it has torn and starts to bleed

 

i grab a napkin and press hard

in hopes to stop the bleeding

but that is all i’ve been doing

since the day she left

 

and the small cuts have turned into

gushing sores

 

and this firm belief i have cultivated

about non-belief

will it find relief

under the tenderness of her touch?

 

why do i debate with myself so much?

the truth is i will look into her eyes

unable to erase any trace

of the love i will always feel for her

 

love is not suppose to make sense

even if there is no recompense

we love whom we love

and cannot give a valid reason

 

oh please don’t show

please show

oh please don’t show

please show

oh please don’t show

please show

oh…

 

***