Thursday, June 5, 2014

loneliness and liquor in los angeles


lingering in loserville

the bartender puts

my money in the till

and pours me another

 

it’s my birthday today

i went to a boxing club

wrapped my hands

and hit the heavy bag

for an hour

 

the other boxers seemed impressed

until i tried to jump rope

and my lifestyle was laid bare

after a minute

i almost threw up

put my shirt

back onto my sweat

waiting for someone to monogram

it with, “past his prime”

and left the gym

 

i threw the hand wraps

into a trash can

and walked till i saw this bar

 

had a smoke before i came in and found

they serve thirty-six ounce mugs of beer

i assured the bartender i don’t own a car

and i am on a first name basis

with all the dispatchers at yellow cab

and told him to load me up

 

there are a lot of women here

tight tops, tight jeans

tight tanned bodies

and the tanned muscled males

are seeking recreation

 

i don’t fit in

my black oversized t-shirt

hides my form

and my jeans aren’t fashionably torn

 

and i won’t make eye contact

i’d rather use my hand

then roll over or play dead on command

 

filled with beer

i become bored

head to the solace of sidewalks

light a smoke

reassuringly tap my flask filled pocket

and scream at the bloodless moon,

“i want to be lady godiva’s horse,

but only for twenty-eight days of the month!”

 

and start walking

maybe i’ll see henry rollins

walking one of these streets

 

we can recite,

“writing on walls of mason hotel

the vacated rooms consistently smell

of used condoms and cum

we wonder where all the whores are from

 

when all the women we meet

want us to compete

with full time devotion

for a part time emotion

 

high priced housewives

or two dollar whores

it’s all just a little more

then i’m willing to pay”

 

then henry will tour europe

while i continue on my way

on these dark streets of decay

stop and look at my reflection

in a store front window and say,

“happy birthday”

 

***

 

 

 

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