the dark streets of decay 14

i tried

spent a few days eating salads

cutting down on caffeine

reading up on how to control blood sugar

 

even tried to cut down on the drinking

but here i am

drunk

somewhere past midnight

 

and everything is alright in my world

 

the streets are dark

the night is cold

and i’m walking

 

i just relieved myself

in some alley

the shadows like a yoke

of invisibility

 

and back on the sidewalk again

 

walking

 

drunk

 

i can’t explain

my need for either

the walking

the drinking

 

they are just what i do

 

in the dark

 

alone

 

unable to be like you

 

unable

no

unwilling

to stay sober

the salads where good

the caffeine missed

but the beer

let it kill me

 

i am free

 

and walking

 

somewhere

in the dirty fucking city

that i love

and call los angeles

but a few months ago

i nicknamed

the dark streets of decay

 

after some seminar i attended

by a physicist

who explained

how as soon as something is formed

it is already in decay

it’s just the dance that molecules do

 

so i went on my way

adding this knowledge

to existentialism

 

and stopped trying to pretend

that anything matters

without heaven

there is no measure on earth

no consequence

there just is

 

but i digress

the point is i am drunk

and probably dying

and if i could dance

i would skip down this sidewalk

singing,

“every little thing is gonna be alright”

 

***