the origin of all things

i started the day out right

or should i say the night

lifted weights

ate a high protein breakfast

showered and drank lots of water

 

my frig was out of beer

so i went to the store

bought beer, cat food and stopped by KFC

to pick up a bucket of chicken

 

now i’m watching music videos on youtube

drinking beer and stroking the back of the cat

i’m the understudy who doesn’t want to act

 

there’s just no script i want to recite

tonight i don’t even want to go outside

let me get drunk without an audience

 

women who are pretty appear on the screen

fairy tale endings that motivate action

but i’m not the next coming attraction

and the only reason i can find to get off this couch

is i need another beer

 

maybe i should rearrange the furniture

put the refrigerator by the couch

and never move

never be around those who must approve

or face their constant ridicule

 

while i listen to the words from their

finite and infinitesimal brains

and watch them fade in significance

as i image a supernova

somewhere in the depths of space

 

i think it would be easier

just to put the laptop aside

and go get another beer

the cat lifting her head

giving me the all clear

 

this is a studio apartment

she knows i won’t be going far

 

i often think about the universe

and the origin of all things

 

the first letter of john says,

“all things were made by him:

and without him was not anything made

that was made.”

 

speaking of course of Jesus Christ   

i have no argument with him this night

but i still have no faith

 

my doubts i would like to erase

and give up all this anger

 

but i am gideon without a fleece

there will be no wet wool outside my door

on a dry morning

 

just me passed out on the floor

where my dreams are constrained

by the teaching that nothing can

travel faster than the speed of light

 

my childhood ended

on the night i learned

that we could not reach the nearest star

in my lifetime

then the man who taught me this

while my right eye peered through the telescope

put his hands down my pants

 

and to make matters worse

he was the lead pastor of the church

and science fiction and every bible verse

became something i could no longer believe

 

and i no longer look through telescopes

 

oh fuck this

where is my flask

my cigarettes and my walking shoes?

 

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