fragments

hotdogs for breakfast

but it’s hard to find eggs and toast

at 7 p.m.

 

i took physics

but i still don’t hear the music of atoms

 

and a reasonable scientific explanation

doesn’t resonate with the soul

 

not like a jack kerouac novel

or jim morrison’s poetry

or me and bobby mcgee

and let’s not forget paul bowles

 

motion without meaning

unless you consider the search

for someone who can stand you

the purpose to our existence

 

i look up at the darkness that use to be a sky

no clouds but still a dark shroud

we have eliminated the stars

with all our city lights

 

nothing else exists except what we can see

although particle physicists would disagree

and those who hold to the hope of redemption

because they thought the right thoughts

 

tonight i saw some guys see me

and by their looks i could see

they had nothing better to do

so i ran as fast as my smoker’s lungs would let me

they gave chase

but i erased their threat by ducking into a bar

stayed on the strength of my credit card

and stumbled back into the night

 

a girl approached me

sex for money

i just couldn’t

i may not believe in love

but i do believe in romance

“just give me a chance”

she pleaded

but i handed her all the money in my wallet

and said, “have a nice night”

 

now i’m imagining i’m a kite

hovering over this city

with no wish to be brought back to the ground

 

loneliness makes a sound

and it sounds like l.a.

i hear the creaking of the decay

the floor boards are moaning

 

one day this planet will no longer support life

but i’m not sure this city

has defined being alive

 

i don’t blame people who survive

by making a family

paying endless bills

and practicing home improvements

 

compared to the movement of late night streets

there’s something to be said for freshly washed sheets

hanging on a line

and a chance for not being lonely

 

but i am only what i let myself be

sobriety is something i flee

the deepest roots make the strongest trees

and my roots were exported in her suitcase long ago

when she carried her baggage out my door

leaving me with hardwood floors

and a half written novel

and an answer that doesn’t apply

to any question ever asked

 

***