the beautiful emptiness

i got a text from a contact in my phone

it informed me that you had just died

 

i said,

“fuck”

sat down on the couch

and just stared

 

it’s been years since we’ve been

but it was still invasive

 

hours past

outside the lightning cast

momentary shadows

 

i know it was late

cause when i finally went out on the street

it was empty

 

i lit a smoke and started walking

then stopped to drain my full flask

then started walking again

 

thunder, lightning, rain

i shielded my cigarette from the weather

like it was a lost kitten i had just rescued

 

you died alone

abandoned by everyone you know

just like you had abandoned me

an on staff nurse found you had passed

while making her next set of rounds

 

and i’m making love to the lonely rain

i have no philosophy to comfort this moment

just this moment

alone on a street

dark and under siege from a thunder storm

it will not always stay dark, wet and empty

on this street

but for now i am walking into

the beautiful emptiness

 

***