Wednesday, February 1, 2017

the stains of blood and semen


took some time for tacos and tecate

i know. when don’t i?

 

you can write poetry anywhere

though i’m standing under a street light

so i can see this page in my notebook

 

i take out my flask

twist off the top

raise a toast to the air

“this is for all the people

who don’t accept me as i am”

tilt it to my lips

 

i’m on pch

downtown santa monica

by ocean view hotel

 

i slept there once

i came to on the beach

sun emerging from the sea

hung-over

so far from home

got a room

used the shower

fell into the bed

woke when the night was just right

bar hopped my way home

till i finally called a cab

at a last call

 

right now the ocean breeze is cold

and i’ve called a cab

to take me to wilshire and fairfax

so i can walk the miracle mile

 

l.a. lingers in the ignorance

of everyone’s existence

 

backseat cab

blood and semen stains

cabbies wipe it all clean

at the end of the night

i wonder if any of them write

about all they’ve seen

bukowski set free

nothing to write about me

i’m always in a taxi alone

 

plugs in my ears

listening to AEnema

by tool

 

i was in new york once

long ago

but i only saw the disney land

hollywood walk of fame side of it

i didn’t play on their

dark streets of decay

 

i was born and raised in this town

but if you don’t know how

the echoes sound

you shouldn’t “drag yourselves

through negro streets at dawn

looking for an angry fix" (allen ginsberg – howl)

 

well, that’s just my opinion

and as i always say

truth is just an opinion

formulas fractured when forced

into equations so small

nothing else can fit

 

l.a. county museum of art

i’ll head to la brea ave

take it to sunset

or hollywood blvd

make a night of it

 

i know some people in europe

have bought my books

i wonder if they even know

what i’m talking about

when i name names

 

is an artist defined by the audience?

actually, i don’t care

just bought a 375 ml bottle of whiskey

lit a cigarette

and i’m walking

 

in small towns they dream of l.a. fame

in the loneliness of los angeles

everyone dreams of love

 

ah, the whiskey

i’m on sunset

really wasn’t paying attention

salute it with my whiskey bottle

sip

no one notices

not even the cop car driving by

 

rain is coming again

afterwards car washers will by busy

can’t have blemishes in los angeles

image is everything

 

i once saw a man lying on his belly

sidewalk, hollywood blvd

legs gone below his knees

arms gone below his elbows

wearing nothing by shorts

talking to himself

pushing around a toy car with his stubs

 

his appearance left him vilified

everyone was horrified

gave him a wide berth

no collective conscience conjoining to help

that’s l.a.

 

l.a. has beaches bombarded by photons

filled with hydrogen atoms and buxom bikinis

but ugly in l.a. is a mortal sin

 

this asian girl i once knew intimately

passes me

we recognize

she sees the bottle in my hand

shakes her head

keeps walking

i take another sip

i don’t care

 

though three nights ago i was seeing double

slept in an alley

so tonight i’m sipping slow

don’t want to lose control

again

 

pull out my pocket sized bukowski

open to where i left of and read

“my vanishing act”

put it back in my pocket

just one poem by charles

satisfies

 

starting to fade

turn off my mind to whiskey unkind

and call a cab to take me home

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

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