the sandpaper solution

way back when i was in school

i loved a girl with eyes of blue

where parting released my first poem

a magazine printed that tome

 

way back when i was a child

i prayed to god and mary mild

i went to class and midnight mass

got the grades that let me pass

 

in college i let go of dreams

science curdled catholic cream

and floated aimless like a bird

my wings were weighed with what was heard

 

i did my best to maintain face

let them define what was disgrace

just like a kid all that i did

was meant to garner love and grace

 

for being loved here and above

was me waiting for noah’s dove

at fifty i found mine own voice

that let my linger in my choice

 

and learned that who i truly am

was not their sacrificial lamb

i think they pray unto this day

that someday i will still be saved

 

but canings only hurt so long

what did not kill me made me strong

the me they read they can’t accept

drowning in depths of their precepts

 

this thing called love i wish were true

but high schools girls with eyes of blue

trained me on all that i should be

instructing me across their knees

 

love is a verb so i must serve

for love to ever set me free

but all their lies and compromise

made me a man of the guise

 

but like i said i found my way

wrote the dark streets of decay

love’s a sandpaper caress

and i’m an uninvited guest

 

because their eyes can only see

a serpent in the garden tree

i fell from unrequited love

the poor man’s sacrificial dove

and laid to waste the garden haste

that cursed man from a throne above

 

but still their hope if that’s a word

about the garden love they heard

demanding perfect obedience

defining love and its repentance

 

if i perform their soft conform

then lasting love can be adorned

where they permit with lash or whip

the love that lingers ill-equipped

to be bestowed on perfect sons

where i am loved while i’m undone

 

but love a sinner who offends?

has never been the current trend

i walk the space of their erase

without a color that will blend

 

cause even all the days your high

can’t stop endorsement of the lie

that love is real just come and feel

the edit and the compromise

 

***