if you read this blog

if you read this blog and it goes silent

will i have died from the partying

or something violent?

most of the views are from america

but i get a lot of readers from germany

          france, the ukraine, poland

                   and russia

 

places where existential nihilism

          is likely to have an audience

america is less christian these days

but most people i encounter

          would never stray

onto the dark streets of decay

they still harbor hope, purpose

          and meaning

and i have to daily interact with

most of these mother-fuckers

 

talking would of, should of, could of

when all i’m saying is

it really isn’t real

you just believe it to be

consequences actually don’t exist

the fabric is folded by the way you perceive

 

hangovers are not a consequence

just evidence that i had a really good time

spun it in a rhyme

though i can’t rhyme the name

of the girl i wake next too

because her name i never knew

 

wait, memory is ringing true

but what rhymes

with the japanese surname “takakawa”?

 

oh well, another sweet lotus blossom

but in the morning i played possum

until she left me for dead

 

ah man, look at the hour

i’m drunk and un-showered

eating dried pineapple pieces

and a couple of reese’s

walking some sidewalk

ignoring the clock

that’s ticking a toc

that it is very, very late

 

here there’s no debate

randomness or fate

besides

l.a. is liquored with a layer of lies

 

all i know is one day i will die

but that is not what makes

          everything irrelevant

it is inconsequential because

we are incapable of being more

than beings who merely perceive

 

***