ocean observatory

by the water side

lapping tide

i watch an old woman

turtle pace

race without grace

to the edge of the sea

to see

what she perceives as beauty

 

i sip my flask and ask,

“is this all there is?”

 

old

navigating yielding sand

to catch a moment

from the shadows of her place

she seems confused, lost

using every last bit of strength

to be here

 

i take another sip of fireball

nothing to forget

nothing to recall

we just have moments

 

i think of where i’m suppose to be

other than the sea

and when i show up

i’ll try and hide

how i’m not sober

everyone’s counting on me

to be something

i’ve convinced them i am

 

more people arrive

strive

to make this a memorable moment

but there’s no atonement

that can absolve us of sins

we will never commit

 

i move away so i can hit

my cigarette

so as not to dilute their day

with smoke

 

peter walked on water

but still wasn’t free

from the fears of our

founding fathers

we think we are more evolved

than otters

while we toil away

to pile our rooms high

unable to get by

on just shells we

crack open on our bellies

while floating on a careless current

 

time to go where i’m supposed to be

sew together fig leaves

to hide the shame we perceive

makes us unacceptable

 

love’s not unconditional

every smile is propositional

make sure your ingredients

are properly measured and mixed

for the discerning palate

 

amid my observe

i offer no cures

just the suspicion

that even when the sun

is directly overhead

we still cast a shadow

 

***