still walking

finally full of fireball

i hit the street in this pub crawl

project pitchfork, mp3

set another cigarette free

 

got myself another cat

she eats and eats and now she’s fat

my middle name is excess

i fill her bowl, say, “be my guest”

 

all i’ve eaten getting wasted

bar peanuts i have tasted

walk inside another bar

a draft beer, here we are

 

living off my royalties

education, literacy

means books sell, i’m doing well

and all i do is fucking spell

 

guy next to me reeks of weed

bar food ravaged for his need

a whisky shot, another beer

and i am fucking out of here

 

switch the tunes to rollins band

light a smoke and reprimand

another pack of smokes is gone

this pack was three hours long

 

hey look there’s a liquor store

go inside and buy some more

plus a pint and bag of chips

all this stuff passing my lips

 

is really all i want to do

well, when i can i like to screw

while make believing i’m in love

but few words rhyme with the word love

 

i hit the pint, light a smoke

walk like wheels missing a spoke

recite jim morrison and rimbaud

check my phone, it’s not odd

 

that no one wants to hang with me

so female glances i will see

pour on my harrison ford charm

till she’s disrobed and in my arms

 

leave her at the light of day

sleep while sunshine has its way

then i walk, no, then i stalk

the dark streets of decay

 

***

 

designated smoking area

last night i was with a beautiful buxom redhead

with ivory colored skin and soft full lips

at the irvine meadows amphitheater

 

in this moment

          rob zombie

                   korn

 

the crowd was a sea of black clothing

i was wearing green with blue jeans

(guess i didn’t get the memo)

 

i think she and i were the only ones not high

or drinking the varieties of intoxication

the venue had to offer

 

exhausted from hours of dancing

to really good music

she drove us to candlewood suites

i contemplated rubbing her feet

but once we were between the sheets

we found sleep to be

the pinnacle of our desire

until the alarm clock conspired

to wake us at six a.m.

the prior guest must have set

we unplugged the foul beast

but i was already out of the sheets

shoed my feet

and found the key card

 

in an adjacent dirt field

with complimentary coffee

surrounded by piles of dog shit

i hit my cigarette

while watching the joggers

on the san diego creek trail

try to stop their coffins from being nailed

too early

 

seeing the hour i hit the shower

while sleeping beauty

dreamt of a handsome prince

checkout’s at noon

we didn’t even spoon

and soon i will be back to my ways

on the dark streets of decay

which is more a state of mind

than an actual place

 

at least i’m not one of these suits

scurrying to cars with dry cleaning

racing off to reasons they stayed

at an irvine hotel

 

last night the singers had a lot

of lyrics about hell

but this wordman can tell you

that the portal to eternal suffering

is south orange county

 

i guess i should eventually eat

thinking about red meat

as i pass the occupied treadmills

in the hotel workout room

on my way to another cigarette

 

i notice an ambulance driver

polishing his hub cabs

“there’s the author of

the dark streets of decay

let’s just stay

the way this poet plays

he’ll need our services soon”

 

i’m waiting for a her text from the room

to let me know she’s awake

and out of the shower

my winter rose blooms at a later hour

so i’ve crawled under a cabana

to violate pristine pages

with the vileness of my words

activated by four cups of coffee

 

people always tell me about consequences

and i’m always amazed that puppets can talk

i stare at their strings while i reply

that consequences don’t exist

it’s just your interpretation of events

once you understand sensory perception

you will realize we all have

our own version of why

at present there are billions of view points

which causes me to question

even the validity of the existence of reality

 

so i just do what i feel is real

like dancing at the last show

at irvine meadows amphitheater

next to a green eyed goddess

all in black

an incredible rack

and lips that after a kiss

can levitate the weight

of all passion

 

***

 

 

 

 

asian roses

i fell in love with asian roses dancing in full bloom

the moon was full and it exposed the bed within her room

her skin was like the satin sheets that wrapped around her bed

breath to breath and lips to lips and i was gently led

into the secrets of the east that she revealed that night

the thorny stems were velvet whims that took me to new heights

the moon bled love upon her face more radiant than stars

eternally i longed to trace her flesh with a devoir

i whispered one more beautiful does not exist on earth

i’d live and die a million times to show her what she’s worth

and as i found her fragile wings unfolding in my arms

i found the moment in-between the memory of charms

and said the words forever heard by goddess, queen and dove

her beauty is enough for me to always be in love

 

***

the feeble attempts of sunshine

they contain a positive message

people look listen and obey

i walk these dark streets of decay

absolutely positive there are no absolutes

 

breaker, breaker, be a faker

not a giver, just a taker

do your yoga, meditate

pray to love and never hate

 

sword of truth will cleave and sever

change the climate and the weather

make a marble malleable

but i’m not indigestible

 

spit me out and spew your lies

pull the wool over their eyes

truth’s a nail that will impale

cause all we ever do is fail

 

to see the forest for the trees

we’re only able to perceive

perception tainted is my rhyme

sometimes i’m even keeping time

 

senses receive their stimuli

the brain is where you then decide

what all the information means

till truth’s a hole for a latrine

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

title goes here

walking around

don’t have any plans beyond

          this cigarette

so i’m just walking

making sure the car sounds

is not an officer of the law

sip from the straw

i put in a 25 ounce bud light

which i put in a black plastic bag

 

tag, you’re it

no whiskey tonight

i’m already lit

blazed from the brownie i baked

          which only tasted like

          the weed i put in it

 

what can i say

night isn’t day

this is l.a.

if on the sidewalk i lay

pedestrians would just step

          over my body

 

don’t move here

nothing but fear

and a whole lot of anger

everyone’s a stranger

and proximity is reason enough

for someone and maybe

          their entourage

to bring you to an end

 

ah a recycling bin

plastic bag 

empty aluminum can

plastic straw        

all go in

 

oh god

i’m so l.a.

even on the dark streets of decay

i’m recycling

 

just passed by a girl

with a t-shirt that read

“natural blond

speak slowly”

made me laugh

 

went into a liquor store

it had 25 ounce cans of bud light

for a $1.25 each

this included tax and c.r.v.

“i’m the only store that offers this”

the owner boasted

 

when people share

i don’t really care

because to me

nothing fucking matters

cordial among the chatter

i respond like i’m rehearsing lines

 

exit unto the dark streets of decay

open a beer

light a cigarette

continue on with my night of play

 

***

 

 

if you read this blog

if you read this blog and it goes silent

will i have died from the partying

or something violent?

most of the views are from america

but i get a lot of readers from germany

          france, the ukraine, poland

                   and russia

 

places where existential nihilism

          is likely to have an audience

america is less christian these days

but most people i encounter

          would never stray

onto the dark streets of decay

they still harbor hope, purpose

          and meaning

and i have to daily interact with

most of these mother-fuckers

 

talking would of, should of, could of

when all i’m saying is

it really isn’t real

you just believe it to be

consequences actually don’t exist

the fabric is folded by the way you perceive

 

hangovers are not a consequence

just evidence that i had a really good time

spun it in a rhyme

though i can’t rhyme the name

of the girl i wake next too

because her name i never knew

 

wait, memory is ringing true

but what rhymes

with the japanese surname “takakawa”?

 

oh well, another sweet lotus blossom

but in the morning i played possum

until she left me for dead

 

ah man, look at the hour

i’m drunk and un-showered

eating dried pineapple pieces

and a couple of reese’s

walking some sidewalk

ignoring the clock

that’s ticking a toc

that it is very, very late

 

here there’s no debate

randomness or fate

besides

l.a. is liquored with a layer of lies

 

all i know is one day i will die

but that is not what makes

          everything irrelevant

it is inconsequential because

we are incapable of being more

than beings who merely perceive

 

***

 

 

ocean observatory

by the water side

lapping tide

i watch an old woman

turtle pace

race without grace

to the edge of the sea

to see

what she perceives as beauty

 

i sip my flask and ask,

“is this all there is?”

 

old

navigating yielding sand

to catch a moment

from the shadows of her place

she seems confused, lost

using every last bit of strength

to be here

 

i take another sip of fireball

nothing to forget

nothing to recall

we just have moments

 

i think of where i’m suppose to be

other than the sea

and when i show up

i’ll try and hide

how i’m not sober

everyone’s counting on me

to be something

i’ve convinced them i am

 

more people arrive

strive

to make this a memorable moment

but there’s no atonement

that can absolve us of sins

we will never commit

 

i move away so i can hit

my cigarette

so as not to dilute their day

with smoke

 

peter walked on water

but still wasn’t free

from the fears of our

founding fathers

we think we are more evolved

than otters

while we toil away

to pile our rooms high

unable to get by

on just shells we

crack open on our bellies

while floating on a careless current

 

time to go where i’m supposed to be

sew together fig leaves

to hide the shame we perceive

makes us unacceptable

 

love’s not unconditional

every smile is propositional

make sure your ingredients

are properly measured and mixed

for the discerning palate

 

amid my observe

i offer no cures

just the suspicion

that even when the sun

is directly overhead

we still cast a shadow

 

***