Friday, October 3, 2014

standing in the unenjoyment line


jenny’s got the flu

didn’t want to take something

because of her condition

 

she was sitting up in bed

laptop level

box of tissues

miserable

 

we are still in the studio

till the end of the month

 

after i got out of the shower i took

after lifting weights

she encouraged me to go out

my lurking presence would only

have added to her irritation

 

so here i am

one a.m.

drunk

cigarette in hand

watching the city wind down

while i walk around

 

the first place i hit tonight

was a cantina

had a couple of tecate

with my taco

which only made me feel tired

 

i headed straight to this dive bar i know

and had a couple of redbulls with vodka

 

i’m sure i’ll be up all night

sipping my flask

with no one to ask

if i want another

 

somewhere on this planet

a volcano is erupting

 

somewhere in this galaxy

a star has died

it’s light in the sky

is a lie

 

somewhere in this universe

exists something

we thought could never exist

 

i stop in a liquor store

buy a half pint of

jim beam’s jacob’s ghost

 

i pass a bar making last call

the outside patio is a piano bar

the woman is playing the last song

of the night

“hello” by evanescence

 

her haunting voice compliments the song

when she sings,

“don’t try to fix me”

i twist the top off the bottle

and down it in one tilt

 

yeah,

it didn’t take long

before i was sally alley

collapsed in a sitting pose

back against an indifferent wall

repeating over and over

with my head in my hands,

“out here on the perimeter there are no stars”

till i was throwing up

then somewhere amid sunlight

i woke up

pounding head on a concrete bed

a phone full of text messages

wanting to know where i am

 

my turn to go home

and be sick in bed

 

***

 

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