Monday, October 20, 2014

dwelling on the fringes of literary obscurity


 leiahdorus fills the room

yeah if you haven’t figured it out by now

i like german electronic music

 

i hadn’t drank all day

just didn’t feel like it

then got notification

that a volume of poetry

i gave to my publisher

was just published

 

titled: soulevard

 

it was pretty much

everything i’ve written

before i started writing

the dark streets of decay

 

so i broke out the bourbon

the ice, the tumbler, the coca-cola

to celebrate

 

if i could calculate

i could tell you how many i’ve had

 

and i had been so well behaved today

pushed myself hard on the weights

ate protein all day

and drank lots of water

plenty in the place to drink

but last night when i was out

some guy mouthed off to me

and i went after him

 

once i calmed down

i hated the way i had lost control

so a day of sobriety was my penance

 

then i found out my book was published

with my second novel still to be released

and, well, here i am

 

leiahdorus slams into my walls

with sound waves

saying they have never seen the sun before

i need a different sound

so i put in santa hates you

turn up hexenpolizei

 

and realize just how boring all this is

jenny left today

some conference on something

i’m not controlling

so i actually wasn’t paying attention

and have no retention

of where she said she was spending

the next few days

 

but i still don’t feel like going out

my cat on my lap

no one to give me crap

 

and i really don’t care that my one

accomplishment

my writing

isn’t relevant

to the rest of the infestation

 

because as much as i smile

and nod my head when you talk

i am a nihilist

and exasperated with the stalks

that think there was meaning

in the sunshine, the seed

the soil and the shit used

as fertilizer that made

them delectable

ready for harvest

 

i divest

so congregate, extrapolate

i’ll segregate

to where it is understood

as common fucking sense

that nothing matters

 

in other words

i will dwell alone

 

***

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