leiahdorus
fills the room
yeah
if you haven’t figured it out by now
i
like german electronic music
i
hadn’t drank all day
just
didn’t feel like it
then
got notification
that
a volume of poetry
i
gave to my publisher
was
just published
titled:
soulevard
it
was pretty much
everything
i’ve written
before
i started writing
the
dark streets of decay
so
i broke out the bourbon
the
ice, the tumbler, the coca-cola
to
celebrate
if
i could calculate
i
could tell you how many i’ve had
and
i had been so well behaved today
pushed
myself hard on the weights
ate
protein all day
and
drank lots of water
plenty
in the place to drink
but
last night when i was out
some
guy mouthed off to me
and
i went after him
once
i calmed down
i
hated the way i had lost control
so
a day of sobriety was my penance
then
i found out my book was published
with
my second novel still to be released
and,
well, here i am
leiahdorus
slams into my walls
with
sound waves
saying
they have never seen the sun before
i
need a different sound
so
i put in santa hates you
turn
up hexenpolizei
and
realize just how boring all this is
jenny
left today
some
conference on something
i’m
not controlling
so
i actually wasn’t paying attention
and
have no retention
of
where she said she was spending
the
next few days
but
i still don’t feel like going out
my
cat on my lap
no
one to give me crap
and
i really don’t care that my one
accomplishment
my
writing
isn’t
relevant
to
the rest of the infestation
because
as much as i smile
and
nod my head when you talk
i
am a nihilist
and
exasperated with the stalks
that
think there was meaning
in
the sunshine, the seed
the
soil and the shit used
as
fertilizer that made
them
delectable
ready
for harvest
i
divest
so
congregate, extrapolate
i’ll
segregate
to
where it is understood
as
common fucking sense
that
nothing matters
in
other words
i
will dwell alone
***
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