i
understand why you left
for
an adult whose childhood
was
one of abuse and abandonment
nothing
will ever erase
how
it was all my fault
i’m
a disappointment
i’m
a crumpled piece of paper
with
no words
and
all these christians
who
tell me what i must be
to
be accepted
are
right
i
don’t belong
in
their religion
without
forgiveness
so
let me be the worthless piece of shit
who
will never amount to anything
because
to me your conditional love
represents
a god
whose
face resembles my parents
and
inspired the me who wrote
the
dark streets of decay
and
i would rather suffer eternal hell
then
pretend all is well
in
a heaven with a god
who
has to punish me
because
i am someone whom
a
mother could never love
oh
and do me a favor please
shut
up
you
don’t care about me
you’re
the priest and the pharisee
who
walked by the injured
on
the side of the road
it
was the sinner who helped
because
only the humility
of
knowing your own frailty
creates
compassion
you
do not represent christ
the
christ who forgave
the
woman who wept on his feet
dried
them with her hair
while
religious rule
gave
no excuse for her sin
while
the god of love
ate
with the publicans and sinners
because
he understood everything
sigmund
freud never could
and
how every action is a reaction
to
the love you say i will never deserve
and
what i must do to earn
till
i am a dog that pees
on
the floor
because
i don’t know what
the
rules are today
among
your intolerance
for
my inability to earn your love
it’s
really not that complicated
until
you meet someone like me
who
questions the deity
of
your authority
and
sees you as just another person
you
require to satisfy the lies
which
allows you to be
the
antithesis of selfishness
and
tolerance of a god
that
you have no desire to be
because
god can only be relevant
if
he agrees with your needs
to
be considered to one
who
must be obeyed
and
the one who dispensates approval
and,
yeah, i see you
without
a clue
you
are the one that will use
your
ignorance to your advantage
while
wounded such like me
can
see
the
christ of the gospels
who
railed against those who see
while
gathering the wounded, the abused
by
you
under
sheltering wings
of
whom we sing of the hope
that
the scope of his love includes me
instead
of what you say his love should be
***
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