Friday, September 16, 2016

september going backwards to june


beer and cigarettes for breakfast

the girl i woke with

disappeared like a ghost

whose bones have finally

been properly buried

declining even a cup of coffee

 

now she will only haunt my dreams

 

my goal today

at some hour

take a shower

then buy another bottle of whiskey

and tonight go for a walk

 

got invited to a poetry reading

i replied,

“the only thing i don’t like

about performing before a live audience

is the people”

 

they joked that i needed an auditorium

of the dead

but the last time

i recited poetry in a graveyard

i was really stoned

took my clothes off

got arrested

 

the cops suspected

someone at 3 a.m.

was up to no good

 

you can only be

put on probation

so many times

when the next thing

about which you rhyme

is your muscled cell mate

and his intentions

for six months to a year

 

so i steer clear

of things that might

materialize this fear

 

although there are many who say

the way i waste my life

writing about whiskey

is a life sentence

without the possibility of parole

 

i bought a homeless couple

food last night

i was standing there smoking

camouflaged by the

l.a. concrete gray

watching them beg pedestrians

for food

who were rude regarding

the inconvenience of their existence

 

i was somewhat disgusted

these humans with whom

the future is entrusted

i went inside the convenience store

bought deli sandwiches

hostess cherry pies

and, fuck it, a goddamn bottle of whiskey

 

i handed the man the bag

walked away

thinking of words from

an obscure book written long ago,

“i will show you my faith by my works”

 

individually we may not be able

to do anything about the victims

of the floods in north korea

but that which is right in front of us

shouldn’t even be discussed

just done

 

yeah, i may always be on the run

from me

and all that i should be

but even meaningless poetry

can find substance

on these city streets

 

o.k. time to buy that bottle of whiskey

 

be right back

 

the hotel of my mind

has a vacancy sign

incessantly flashing

outside the window

keeping me awake

 

the sense of my existence

 

but nothing fills that emptiness

honestly i can’t figure out

which room is unoccupied

or what it needs to be furnished with

to reach maximum capacity

 

so i just stare at the sign

waiting for the world

to run out of electricity

and shut the damn thing off

 

meanwhile

whiskeyfied

i survive

eating a bag of

cheddar cheese popcorn

i bought with the bottle

stale

but right now

it’s the holy grail

 

i’m all about pleasure

if i’m about anything

 

fleeing the scene of the crime

but my d.n.a. is all over her body

and my last memory is her pulling

on her shirt as she hastily made her exit

 

i read today that the average person

has eight sexual partners

in their life time

today i learned

i’m a whore

 

i look at the shirt

i pulled off and tossed

at the chair

it’s almost standing there

half crumpled

i tell it,

“you’re perfect”

 

i come from the balcony

see the beer and whiskey

i’ve been molesting

and can’t comprehend

which is my best friend

so i have a threesome

 

at the mailbox

a rather attractive blonde

talks to me

“you’ve lost so much weight

what have you been doing?

we carried conversation

while i wondered,

“who are you?”

 

did the whiskey destroy

the brain cells that housed

memories of her

or is it me

and she just wasn’t worth

remembering

 

i can’t even get the mail

without being impaled

by the nails

that will never impute

forgiveness for my

multitude of sins

 

beer breakfast

whiskey lunch

poetry purpose

 

another cigarette

and you can bet

i’ve past the point

where erasure

replaces remember

 

it’s september

but only because it rhymes

otherwise i’d be playing

the flute in

the galactic philharmonic

symphony orchestra

writers reinvent reality

 

this poem started hours ago

because i fed a homeless couple

last night

and had an existential crisis

now i’m using whiskey to lysis

and forgot the goddess isis disowns

any children who stray

onto the dark streets of decay

 

***

 

 

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