Tuesday, August 23, 2016

sifting through the shit of your lies


can’t call 9-1-1

nothing’s been done

spinning rhymes is not a crime

 

being at a bus stop

doesn’t mean you’re going somewhere

some sit and stare

cause they have nowhere to go

 

use to be a pay phone in a hallway

was for every apartment

their connection to the outside

neighbor would answer

pound on your door

“it’s for you!”

 

they kicked me out of the brothel

i just wanted the girl to hold me

while she sang, “everybody hurts”

by r.e.m.

 

the set designer hated me

every five minutes i changed the scene

nothing was green

even though that was the name of the play

 

tried another brothel

said they would oblige

then took turns holding me down

and spanking me

singing at the top of their voices

“everybody hurts sometimes”

charged me double

and threw me out

laughing as they threw my clothes

after me

 

walking past graffiti art

my shoes fell apart

the salesman’s voice

knew i had no choice

and charged me all the cash

i had on hand

 

all i wanted tonight

was to work things out

in poem therapy

 

this desire inside of me

diluted by whiskey

to be dominated by a girl

 

yeah i got my spanking

i got several

 

still i linger

wrap around one finger

summoning me to bleed

for her need

 

all my lovers hate my poetry

in fact they’ve never read a word

remain unheard

 

onto empty pages

in empty rooms

i scream

 

it’s better not to dream

cause dreams are the dance

of disillusionment

 

the journalist is in court

to report

the justification

of my sentence

 

they said i lacked repentance

love is never a victimless crime

 

poets and their rhymes

is a life sentence

 

and this poet asks too much

he thinks his taking is

legalized by giving

 

another idiot who cares

in an uncaring world

believes in empathy

confused by the lack

of sympathy

when he confesses

 

draining another pen dry

inventing teardrops when he cries

wondering why

alcohol accentuates what you’re feeling

 

otherwise you’re as silent

as something stalking its prey

everything runs away

when you make a noise

 

everyone thinks vampires are wise

because they have lived for so long

but when you reach a certain age

you realize a sage is not made by knowledge

and the final conclusion of knowledge

is you do not know enough

to ascertain

 

which is why you just go

outside and have another cigarette

everything is about your debt

for the accident of your birth

you were an unplanned pregnancy

and to this day no one really wants you

unless you can convince them

it’s in their better interest

to be inconvenienced by you

 

life is the misery of paying dues

never be you

this is not an acceptable payment

 

it leads to an arraignment

and you are discarded

no matter how much melon

is left on the rind

 

think for yourself and expose

the emperor has no clothes

who are you to usurp his authority

such deplority

will bring a rain of derision

 

so make a decision to endure

pretend you are pure

while you numb the nether reaches

of your mind

with whatever you can find

 

smile and nod

you’re not odd

everybody else is a fucking idiot

 

everything you believe is only perceived

therefore everything you believe is biased

and a lie

 

there is nothing wrong in a helping hand

but are you helping when you demand

that a person will only know joy

when they deploy your

line of thinking

 

anyways back to my point

and the reason i wanted to write today

this is the dark streets of decay

the bay in which i want

to anchor my ship

is within a relationship

that is equipped to supply

my understanding of love

love being defined by that

in which the me i be is accepted

but pounded into the obliteration

that is my mind

if this you can find

do everything you can to destroy it

 

rage against the quip

that one size fits all

it’s a blowup doll

that can’t give you what

you really need

because it doesn’t exist

 

so maintain and persist

that whether open hand or fist

you want to be struck by love

that only you have defined

 

***

 

 

 

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