the aardvark, the elephant and the apple tree: ten years later

i’m trying to talk to you

what more can i say

i cried for help

in the dark streets of decay

 

no one listened

my therapist wanted me to glisten

but if i am the definition

then love remains undefined

 

my secrets are the solace i seek

dorothy only peeked behind the curtain

to make certain but saw the solution illusion

we all click our heels and chant

but none of us wake up to find concerned faces

 

i’m the traces of all i do to hide in plain sight

if i stop being all that you need

and show you my pain

will going against the grain

be too much effort

 

no one knows how hard i work at being wasted

turkeys taste better when basted

center piece as everyone gives thanks

decorum no longer the forum

everyone devours

 

the outside skin isn’t healthy

and bones make you choke

discarded

but no one leaves the table

till two people tear apart the wishbone

 

i am surrounded but alone

hiding just how much i atone

but every time i roll the stone

there is no resurrection

 

they smack my head

tell me to knock it off

that i am loved

but they are the hand

searching for the perfect glove

and i fear being tossed

back into the bin

exposed for the sin

of not being what you need

 

i bleed

beg for band aids

while feeling like

i’m suppose to be the one who

manufactures, distributes and applies

to prove the worth of my birth

 

not all amniotic fluid finds functionality

but perceive, deceive and believe

is my dissertation

 

my truth is exasperation

while superman’s cape drapes

my appearance

 

yes, i’m even offered on clearance

because i am so desperate for love

i will be the ill-fitting glove

you tolerate because of its convenience

 

and hide in my insides

that i spy with my little eye

that all is a lie

when you say you are willing to try

unconditional love

um, i mean fairy tales and guise

oh wait

a knight in shining armor guards

love’s gate

it’s just your fate

to be stuck with me

 

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