when you look to the sky birds shit in your eyes

i was seriously thinking of stopping

no late night l.a.

no more drink

maybe after some sobriety

have a doctor do a liver count

 

i heard of someone i know

peeing blood

it’s cancer

 

decent man

wife got bored

left him to raise

one year old, three year old, five year old

he did

 

now his grown kids

want nothing to do with him

he will face this cancer alone

 

and i am reminded that there is no one

dispensing justice, fairness, reward

 

there is no divine behind this loveless toil

we fill our days with

no reason, no resonance

no orchestration

 

it’s well after midnight

i’m drunk

again

and it is fucking cold

 

yeah i feel old

and worn out from the way that i live

but this universe has happened without a hand

 

we are alone

flayed to the bone

and no help is coming

molecules are not humming hymns

 

everything just is

and one day it will not be

***