Friday, December 22, 2017

the last pages of my notebook


went to a party

women in skin tight dresses

cocktails in hands

well groomed men

 

then there was me

bottle in hand

worn out walking shoes

un-groomed

nothing tight to show muscle might

met with eyes that didn’t hide

disapproval

 

i was asked questions

snided,

“ask me no questions

i’ll tell you no lies”

 

walked away

returned to

the dark streets of decay

 

even the host who had invited me,

had bought my book,

“the dark streets of decay”

could only say

he’d got five poems in

and couldn’t read anymore

it was so deep

he couldn’t grasp

 

oh for fuck’s sake

i was just singing amazing grace

for those of us who know

all love is conditional

 

every street sign on

the dark streets of decay

reads,

“leave all hope behind

ye who enter here”

 

and when you speak

from a perspective

pointless and unprotected

is the armor that i wear

 

at some stairs

a sign,

“there’s a bar up there”

i ascend

enter in

 

no one pays me no never mind

just the place i was hoping to find

 

i grind

into a barstool

bartender breaks out his tools

builds me a double shot

and a mug of beer

 

from here i can select songs

on the jukebox

 

button press

i select

“look on down from the bridge”

by mazzy star

 

the woman next to me asks,

“do you think lake titicaca

was the first transgender?”

 

i’m so floored by my adore

i take her hand and kiss it

then tell the bartender

i’ll be paying her tab

 

she says,

“speaking of tabs”

and shows me two

perfectly cut squares

it’s been a long time

since i’ve seen a tab of acid

 

we each decorate our tongues with one

some rationale still remains

“we should probably trip

somewhere more equipped”

i settle our debts

 

we descend the steps

our hands become conjoined twins

we turn left

linger in the labor of legs

until the layer of lies

are peeled into skinless vegetables

 

at a store front window

someone has posted

a “missing” sign

i take out my pen

and write one word

 

“why ichabod?” she asks

“it means abandoned by god”

she takes my pen

writes,

“ichabodess”

 

we go to kiss

but burst into laughter

at the absurdity

of happily ever after

 

light cigarettes

take out our phones

stomp them into permanent

silent modes

 

invisible we reload

by draining my flask

which i toss in the trash

with both of our phones

flip off a drone

 

take out my mp3

put a plug in her ear

and mine

select

“are you experienced?”

by hendrix

 

take her hand

and lead to the ocean

which has more culture

than that party

still contained

on the cascading hills

of california

 

depicting the lack of substance

that defines los angeles

 

i’ve chronicled this consciousness

all the way onto the hard backed cover

left my long time lover on the

surreptitious sands

as my co-conspirator and i

have stripped and slipped

into the waves that erode the shore

we’ve just abandoned

 

***

 

 

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment