Tuesday, April 11, 2017

mercy killing


         (one day they will institutionalize me

          until i see

          charles bukowski

          never existed

          but is a delusion

          that dances with my dementia)

 

walked past a squirrel

in the gutter

must have been hit

by a car

 

it kept turning its upper torso

trying to get going

but the back of it was paralyzed

 

the look on that squirrel’s face

 

i know it would have been a grace

to have bashed in its head

 

but i just couldn’t

kept walking

though my memories

have picked up an extra

piece of baggage

cumbersome and difficult to carry

 

i remember when i had a snake

was suppose to feed it live mice

but was told to incapacitate 

the mouse before tossing it in the cage

for the safety of the snake

 

i slammed the mouse’s head

against the balcony railing

it put its paw on his head

and looked at me

 

i gave the snake away

stick with cats

 

select the full album

“wish you were here”

pink floyd

 

hung over from beer

i just now started on schnapps

and another unnecessary cigarette

 

can’t remember the last time

i felt happy

upbeat

even if i weren’t on these streets

i would probably just stare

at a white washed wall

like one does when trying

to minimize the effects

of a bad acid trip

 

pass by the half eaten carcass

of a mouse

i live each moment

like it’s my last

which will probably hasten the end

but this elusive happiness?

does it elude me

because it doesn’t exist?

 

change my state of mind?

only supports my

proselytization of perception

besides

once this bottle’s fully nipped

i will be laughing

 

quoting cather

“death comes for the archbishop”

 

ah, the song

“wish you were here”

i stop

plaster my back to a building

close my eyes

sing

 

if it all ends at this moment

“all’s well that ends well”

 

***

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