Tuesday, October 4, 2016

the lies that lie in wait


(the only sequel i can offer)

 

on her balcony

l.a. is so bright at night

i can count all the stars in the sky

 

after dinner she had me and sake

now she’s sleeping

and i’m keeping watch

on the meaningless motions

making their mark on

non-existent time

 

but you know me

i’m never alone

there’s always whiskey

 

went to a funeral recently

never been before

it affected me

wept bitterly

even said words at the podium

well deserved adulation

but my heart was haunted

by the ghost of a whisper

that the realization of my vexation

in these words i write

in the form of lousy poetry

is a coffin

 

everything’s for nothing

it just is

and then it isn’t

and that’s all it ever was

without a because

 

so i join with the things

that joust with my joy

 

this cigarette

this whiskey

this girl that unfurled

at the fullness of my touch

 

love is double-dutch

regardless of what the upanishads say

except maybe the seed that inseminates

 

no, even that’s not true

how many of you

are no longer with the one

with whom you had a child

or weren’t there at the funeral

after your parent died

 

i desperately search for substance

and the only thing i can bring

is to move the sidewalk to my feet

put the plugs of my mp3 in

select r.e.m.’s uberlin

and start dancing

 

disappearing into the darkness

of the witching hour

till i am devoured and defecated

by the euphoria of dancing

to music that moves me

 

a mile away what can i say

all your beatitudes i cannot pray

when she wakes and finds me gone

no song is a timeless melody

 

there’s just me and my appetites

and wings for flight

that long ago flew

too close to the sun

 

cause after all is said and done

there’s only illusions

that illuminate the illicit

and invites us to invigorate

the indigenous

 

because

and i’m getting really tired of saying this

everything is relative

to the reasons we want a reprise

to justify the compromise

that codifies the collusions

that everyone refuses to un-illusion

the contusions that cause pain

 

with each breath we fear death

while all the while

death is waiting

where no traces of you survive

and all the pain you knew alive

has found the ultimate bottle

that deadens all the pain

 

***

 

 

 

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