Friday, October 21, 2016

if seasons change why is winter always the same


(the dark los angeles evening is steaming the church – jim morrison)

 

the snow is in no hurry

amid every little flurry

falling in flutters from the sky

alighting like white butterflies

 

o.k.

i tried

to circumcise my words

make them holy and pure

but i can’t cocoon

come out as something

that will make you swoon

with the beauty of its

new existence

 

i now have two pairs of glasses

one to see far

and one with which to read

i rarely wear either

 

nothing worth seeing

 

pass a homeless man peeing

in an alley where no one has

ever ventured since the concrete dried

 

sent a group text

“by the way

when the dark streets of decay

take me away

and literary scholars come and holler

so they can write and earn a dollar

you have my permission to tell all”

 

though there is nothing i’ve done

i haven’t already sung

in my lyrics without music

 

in my most recent sleeping dream

i was walking on a los angeles sidewalk

covered in petals of black roses

thinking of when people have said

to always say a goodbye when you leave

because it may be the last time you say it

i woke to find my cat was dead

life is a tire with a worn tread

 

at any moment…

 

it’s not the endowment of death’s bestowment

that vexes

it’s these apexes i am offered

spare change in coffers

that act as an act that contracts

sub clauses obligating

meaning to the empty exercises of existentialism

 

i’m just a poet pretending the ending to the poem

is a literary technique i control

while all the while the bedroll i unroll

is looking for more than temporary parking

i look to be more than the skin cells i shed

on her bed

but hunger is never fed

when you’re really not on the menu

 

so i walk these city streets

searching for nothing

but the numbing effects of alcohol

 

after all it is easier to be alone

then be a me who must atone

to be worthy of your graces

 

i just want an accept with all my precepts

i’d even settle for an embrace

aware of my disgrace

the kind that will erase

everything but the moment she is holding me

 

***  

 

 

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