i wish that which has made me stronger had just killed me

there’s nothing in this atmosphere that i would want to breathe

the atmosphere surrounding here has only made me seethe

paradise lost became the cost in milton’s memory

the final meal before the chair is complimentary

 

and walking fast i find the past still present in its tense

my memories slay and lose their way as a just recompense

and like the atoms in my cells that formed my outer skin

the things my parents did to me has found a way to win

 

and work its way into the fray of everything i am

where i feel my appearance here is nothing more than spam

the things i’ve done the things i do and that which soon will be

has been me searching for the love my folks did not agree

i could deserve without a curve when they assigned a grade

i’m scared of my own shadow so i stay within the shade

 

***