i blog therefore i am

you see

what it is

and why i have been silent

unwritten

 

you left me

now you’re back

with a vengeance

 

but i can’t help but listen to mozella sing

luvsik

and it’s not us

you left

 

me

 

and now i have to act

like you didn’t

 

i want you to make me feel like i matter to you

 

but even if you try

i wouldn’t believe the lie

 

because,

have i mentioned?

you left

 

me

 

before

 

the drinking i’ve been doing has been making me sick

 

i can’t stay

anymore then i can pray

and believe that something good will actually happen

but more waiting for something good

to actually happen

 

so this is our second goodbye

i know you will always be a part of my life

jenny with child

 

i don’t need a divorce

i just can’t force

or fabricate

 

it’s just too late

 

our child will know me

but she will not know me with you

 

there is nothing more that i can do

one of us must leave

 

i’m gonna go walk the streets

if you are here when i get back

i will come in and pack

 

if you are gone

so long

 

but i will not settle for anything less

then being loved

 

not making do because there is a reason

but loving me

without any need

for me to be

anything other than me

 

i’m on the street jenny

drunk and walking after midnight

but honestly what i am doing

from this moment on

is none of your goddamn business

 

***