the walls of jericho stand firm

wasted

but then again

when am i not

 

i think sometimes about help

but everything is on everyone else’s terms

and no one can answer my questions

 

and when they are hovering

they say they don’t really

know what i’m talking about

 

early one morning i was walking

a tourist asked,

“when does it get warm around here?”

 

“warm is a relative term

what is warm for me

may not be warm for you

therefore there are no absolutes

and no definitive

with which to answer

so please stop asking me questions”

 

his wife looked confused

his kids disinterested

and he like i just insulted him

 

but i felt i answered accurately

and couldn’t understand everyone’s

misunderstand

 

i walked away

unable to convey

why concrete is inconclusive

 

nothing is solid

nothing is liquid

nothing is vapor

nothing is ethereal

it is what we say it is

 

and right now i say

uncooked cookie dough

is breakfast

 

“mommy,

i had a bad dream:

i was a poet everyone

said could not speak plainly

but every word was clear to me”

 

so i decree

every substance available to me

is allowed into my system

but the problem with going up

is gravity

because you always have to come down

 

addicts are acrobats

on a trapeze

wishing they were astronauts

who could finally break free

and float forever

without any density

and the derelicts who dance with a destiny

that never got an invite to the dance

 

i make my phone select pink

“sober”

singing along,

“i’m safe

up high

nothing can touch me

but why do i feel this party’s over?

no pain

inside

you’re my protection

how do i feel this good sober?”

 

pills, weed, alcohol, cigarettes

chocolate chip cookie dough

and the emptiness that echoes

down the canyons of concrete buildings

that have earned the name los angeles

like your favorite dip

that no one knows how to make

but everyone wants to try

because they read about it

as if it is relevant

 

while no one gets

it’s not the recipe

but the hand that double dips

the chip that has experienced

her lips

that are asking for more

 

idiot therapists diagnose genius

as a defense against

their own ignorance

with the words:

narcissistic personality

 

forgetting

or never having know

all conversation is seduction

 

i devour the tower of babel

and find its ambition

untenable

 

barstool barter

buy her a drink

and think

i might be on the brink

after we sink

ten drinks each

without saying a word

while our non-drinking hands

interlace and clasp

into ten fingers

 

***