Saturday, February 7, 2015

anne sexton’s final try


alone

drinking from a bottomless beer

old thoughts creep near

crawl and scrawl on the walls of my mind

 

knife edge resting on wrist

i want to die

i have tried

before

but

 

well

i guess you can see the result

 

i think of how it would affect my daughter

and i can’t cut

 

but i want to die

can’t tell you why

unless you have entered this land

you will never understand

the inhabitants and where they dwell

 

go ahead and swell

ring the warning bells

and think your advice matters

 

i never said i was right

just that i want it all to stop

 

harvest the crop

that no one will eat

 

in the end there is no grand feast

not even a tuna fish sandwich

and that’s why i want to cut

 

no euphoria

no spirit guides waiting

or demons parading

 

just the cessation of being

the true definition of

eternal rest

 

i will not be a guest

but i will finally be sober

accomplish the quieting of my mind

 

just don’t give me a spiritual burial

say i am in a better place

that god’s love is greater than my weakness

 

burn me in flames

eradicate my existence

 

do the world a favor

 

***

 

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