i’m
not really down
but
the left hemisphere of my brain
keeps
hanging around
reminding
me that the present
is
a result of the past
and
making me fear the future
i’m
not really alone
but
the left hemisphere of my brain
makes
me live like i am
moving
away as fast as i can
from
those who espouse the ecstasy
of
releasing the right hemisphere
and
the audience’s adulation and applause
for
this scientific spirituality
no
wonder i’m not popular at dinner parties
i
deleted everything from my mp3
except
counting crows
all
their albums are in tow
as
i walk with all the words in my head
reciting
arthur rimbaud,
“one
evening i took beauty in my arms-
and
i thought her bitter-
so
i insulted her”
and
the bottom line is i know nothing
except
that i want to be left alone
no
purpose as i roam
except
the purpose that is waiting for me
at
the bottom of this bottle
of
jim beam jacob’s ghost
stop
telling me what is
as
if what is needs justification
it
just is
and
one day you will die
everything
else is a fucking lie
close
your eyes for the last time
and
you won’t even be conscious
of
the darkness
anyways
i was thinking of her who left
well,
all the “hers” left,
except
jenny
so
far
and
the “her” in my arms
was
calloused comfort
meaning
and motivation
empting
like a flood gate
as
she climbed on the back
of
his white steed
and
rode away
leaving
me on these
dark
streets of decay
i
got patted down at a fucking bar
told
i couldn’t come in
with
my bottle of white whiskey
i
walked away
the
last one i saw leave
is
still here with me
but
the left hemisphere
is
making it clear
that
all that is near
are
not just random atoms colliding
but
a monument to the past
that
nothing will last
and
those who won’t pretend this isn’t true
are
outcast
roaming
this after life with jacob’s ghost
starting
to forget who it was that left
and
what they left behind
***
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