echoes etched in canyon walls

          part two

 

          echoes etched in canyon walls

 

at a bus stop near an intersection

in los angeles

reading the bus schedule

for the right direction home

 

a truck driver has just dropped me off

i caught a ride from him

from the inn in the desert

he played his radio loud

we sang every song

it was a nice ride along

 

i have 20 minutes till the next bus

slip into a liquor store

buy a 24 ounce can of beer

with a label so colorful

it looks like an energy drink

or a tea

sit on the bench and drink it

no one pays any attention to me

 

three buses and two hours later

back on my street

the heat sheets the sun drenched air

i buy a bottle before

going to my motel room door

turn the air on high

but then go out onto my balcony

watch the traffic go by

while i smoke and dip into the bottle

 

tomorrow i’ll hit all the bars

in search of a job

to receive a wage and

reconnect with more

then things i can buy at liquor stores

 

work toward moving out of this

extended stay motel

but rents are high in los angeles

and one is hard pressed

to not live in neighborhoods

where unkindness is the essence

emanating from every eye

 

          *

 

i applied at 3 places

one of them wanted me

to start right away

he had a hard time

staying staffed as

his people had problems

with addictions

i didn’t confirm or deny

if i was that kind of guy

i just filled out some paper work

and was handed an apron

and a bus tray

stayed until an hour after closing

for a 14 hour day

 

one of the women had nothing to say

until we were standing on sidewalk

and she asked if i would walk her

to her place right around the corner

the joint she lit in transit

she shared and there at her door

she invited me in

she brought a bottle of water

from her fridge to where i was

on her couch

we sipped as she slipped into

a sheltering embrace

where we traced the smooth

walls down the hall of sleep

with our fingertips

 

now i’m at her door

with my belongings

and an understanding

i will pay half of everything

one thing about addicts

is we are really adept at

repeating old habits

 

 *

 

the earth just finished shaking

the sun is baking the sea

of indifferent faces

and i am lit on whatever shit

she just gave me

as we walk to start our closing shifts

 

i have yet to know her

in the biblical sense

she seems as fragile as a fern

in a forest fighting for the few

rays of sunshine that finds

her in the shade of the towering

trees on parade

 

we are two peas in a pod

angels and acrobats

reaching for the next rung

on the ladder

scattered by the fertilizer

that fed on the afterbirth

of our entrance

before exiting our existence

an ever present presence

that was never really there

 

we are yesterday’s echoes

still reverberating

down canyon boulevard

with no one there to hear

answering the age old question

“yes, we still make a sound

but with no one around

we do feel like we don’t exist”

 

in los angeles they serenade the A list

but there is no alphabet

past the letter Z

within these limitations

where the world still grades our worth

like it was done in schools

we remain miniscule

and manifest a rule

without measurements

 

another night spent earning our rent

every guy treating her like she was sent

to satisfy their every need

on the way home i hold her hand

gesture grand for two who understand

not everyone was meant for the invent

of survival of the fittest

 

          *

 

we were both off

went to the crowded california beach

tapered in toxic trash

but in the mirage of merriment

we crossed into a collective consciousness

co-authors of a one act play

 

“i could kiss you easily with sea salt on our skin

and search waves tossed for what was lost at every place you’ve been

the sun won’t mind our limbs entwined waist deep within the waves

my kiss express a slight confess that you’re my seventh day

wherein i rest within the nest of saturated sighs

the sky’s true blue envelopes you, my fingers on your thighs

journey over suppleness that’s tailored to your form

our touching tongues are nothing less than violent raging storms

the wanton waves wash us ashore as we erode the earth

and all that was is now before the moment of our birth

fragile hatchlings spreading wings and learning how to fly

we’ll soar where love is gathering, on that you can rely”

 

          *

 

shadowing the in-between of scattered l.a. nights

i’m walking where i am unseen while holding your hand tight

the neon lights infest the night like spinning disco balls

beckoning, “come dance inside” but we ignore their call

grab a meal of truck tacos and whiskey from my flask

this moment is the measuring of all i really ask

 

the trash receives what we debris my hand unoccupied

breezes behind your dainty head to end this ill divide

that separates the solace and succor of your kiss

passion possessed no gentleness, tongue tango turbulence

your index finger taps my cheek our lips i unalign

we sidewalk step into night’s depth my arm at your waistline

 

          *

 

home from our closing shift

we sift through the rift

of things that separate sobriety

from seeing double

 

two hours and numbness has set in

soon morning will begin

so sleep seems priority

as tomorrow will see

another closing shift

 

she runs her fingers through my hair

“it’s time we stop pretending you’re

just a roommate that can only caress

couch cushions”

 

she takes my hand and leads me

to the bedroom

stands there

waiting

gently i invade

i’ve only known her kiss

i’ve longed to touch her breasts

and amidst the tenderness

of my tongue on hers

my hands encroach

 

for a long time

touches have been rough

deviant

foreplay were the words,

“get to it”

 

tonight

with so little light

i only see what my eyes receive

in their adjustment to the darkness

amid tenderness so raw

what i saw

was the illumination

of the everlasting

 

          *