part
two
echoes etched in canyon walls
at
a bus stop near an intersection
in
los angeles
reading
the bus schedule
for
the right direction home
a
truck driver has just dropped me off
i
caught a ride from him
from
the inn in the desert
he
played his radio loud
we
sang every song
it
was a nice ride along
i
have 20 minutes till the next bus
slip
into a liquor store
buy
a 24 ounce can of beer
with
a label so colorful
it
looks like an energy drink
or
a tea
sit
on the bench and drink it
no
one pays any attention to me
three
buses and two hours later
back
on my street
the
heat sheets the sun drenched air
i
buy a bottle before
going
to my motel room door
turn
the air on high
but
then go out onto my balcony
watch
the traffic go by
while
i smoke and dip into the bottle
tomorrow
i’ll hit all the bars
in
search of a job
to
receive a wage and
reconnect
with more
then
things i can buy at liquor stores
work
toward moving out of this
extended
stay motel
but
rents are high in los angeles
and
one is hard pressed
to
not live in neighborhoods
where
unkindness is the essence
emanating
from every eye
*
i
applied at 3 places
one
of them wanted me
to
start right away
he
had a hard time
staying
staffed as
his
people had problems
with
addictions
i
didn’t confirm or deny
if
i was that kind of guy
i
just filled out some paper work
and
was handed an apron
and
a bus tray
stayed
until an hour after closing
for
a 14 hour day
one
of the women had nothing to say
until
we were standing on sidewalk
and
she asked if i would walk her
to
her place right around the corner
the
joint she lit in transit
she
shared and there at her door
she
invited me in
she
brought a bottle of water
from
her fridge to where i was
on
her couch
we
sipped as she slipped into
a
sheltering embrace
where
we traced the smooth
walls
down the hall of sleep
with
our fingertips
now
i’m at her door
with
my belongings
and
an understanding
i
will pay half of everything
one
thing about addicts
is
we are really adept at
repeating
old habits
*
the
earth just finished shaking
the
sun is baking the sea
of
indifferent faces
and
i am lit on whatever shit
she
just gave me
as
we walk to start our closing shifts
i
have yet to know her
in
the biblical sense
she
seems as fragile as a fern
in
a forest fighting for the few
rays
of sunshine that finds
her
in the shade of the towering
trees
on parade
we
are two peas in a pod
angels
and acrobats
reaching
for the next rung
on
the ladder
scattered
by the fertilizer
that
fed on the afterbirth
of
our entrance
before
exiting our existence
an
ever present presence
that
was never really there
we
are yesterday’s echoes
still
reverberating
down
canyon boulevard
with
no one there to hear
answering
the age old question
“yes,
we still make a sound
but
with no one around
we
do feel like we don’t exist”
in
los angeles they serenade the A list
but
there is no alphabet
past
the letter Z
within
these limitations
where
the world still grades our worth
like
it was done in schools
we
remain miniscule
and
manifest a rule
without
measurements
another
night spent earning our rent
every
guy treating her like she was sent
to
satisfy their every need
on
the way home i hold her hand
gesture
grand for two who understand
not
everyone was meant for the invent
of
survival of the fittest
*
we
were both off
went
to the crowded california beach
tapered
in toxic trash
but
in the mirage of merriment
we
crossed into a collective consciousness
co-authors
of a one act play
“i
could kiss you easily with sea salt on our skin
and
search waves tossed for what was lost at every place you’ve been
the
sun won’t mind our limbs entwined waist deep within the waves
my
kiss express a slight confess that you’re my seventh day
wherein
i rest within the nest of saturated sighs
the
sky’s true blue envelopes you, my fingers on your thighs
journey
over suppleness that’s tailored to your form
our
touching tongues are nothing less than violent raging storms
the
wanton waves wash us ashore as we erode the earth
and
all that was is now before the moment of our birth
fragile
hatchlings spreading wings and learning how to fly
we’ll
soar where love is gathering, on that you can rely”
*
shadowing
the in-between of scattered l.a. nights
i’m
walking where i am unseen while holding your hand tight
the
neon lights infest the night like spinning disco balls
beckoning,
“come dance inside” but we ignore their call
grab
a meal of truck tacos and whiskey from my flask
this
moment is the measuring of all i really ask
the
trash receives what we debris my hand unoccupied
breezes
behind your dainty head to end this ill divide
that
separates the solace and succor of your kiss
passion
possessed no gentleness, tongue tango turbulence
your
index finger taps my cheek our lips i unalign
we
sidewalk step into night’s depth my arm at your waistline
*
home
from our closing shift
we
sift through the rift
of
things that separate sobriety
from
seeing double
two
hours and numbness has set in
soon
morning will begin
so
sleep seems priority
as
tomorrow will see
another
closing shift
she
runs her fingers through my hair
“it’s
time we stop pretending you’re
just
a roommate that can only caress
couch
cushions”
she
takes my hand and leads me
to
the bedroom
stands
there
waiting
gently
i invade
i’ve
only known her kiss
i’ve
longed to touch her breasts
and
amidst the tenderness
of
my tongue on hers
my
hands encroach
for
a long time
touches
have been rough
deviant
foreplay
were the words,
“get
to it”
tonight
with
so little light
i
only see what my eyes receive
in
their adjustment to the darkness
amid
tenderness so raw
what
i saw
was
the illumination
of
the everlasting
*
