Monday, February 26, 2018

one day agrippa will be before paul


i look at the praise

the number of books sold

and i just want to burn

my kingdom down

 

i’m not a hipster

a gangster

a progenitor of poetics

a genius

 

i’ve always just considered myself

that kid from the burbs

riding my bike home

from the corner convenience store

where i had just bought my favorite

strawberry soda

on a sunday afternoon

 

my poems are just silent screams

from the jail cell of my emotional existence

ignoring the key

that has always been in the lock

 

i’ve never wanted your attention

and shun poetry readings

like i avoid any environment

that is contaminated by

a plague of people

 

i enjoy conversation

but never meet anyone

who wants to talk about a

non-existent reality

governed by non-existent time

imagined by a prefrontal cortex

melting into malleable memories

within a perceptual process

tantamount to hallucinations

that we redefine as hallowed halls

 

my criteria for desiring a woman

is if she meets the standard of

desiring me

with a willful wantonness

 

she could be on santa monica pier

or little tokyo and i will follow

where she leads to feed the need

within the space of time off

for good behavior

 

even if it is microcosmic

something is always there

there is no such thing as empty spaces

 

that is why nothing erases

the erectile dysfunction

hindering the blood flow to

the ergonomics of mind

 

where i pretend, “friend” is not a fallacy

formed by cavemen seeking bodily warmth

in corpuscle caves against the

indifference of non-sentient frost

 

you see, you believe in hope

manifest destiny

the power of personal choices

and their consequences

at least i hope you believe

and are not clicking off clichés

as programmed responses

because you don’t have a clue

and are too untrue to yourself

to accumulate your own convictions

 

i believe we were flogged while tied to

the mast right before the hurricane hit

and swept everyone else off

while we remain helplessly bound

the storm violent all around

each wave’s impact applying more

sea salt to the open wounds left by

the flogging

you search for meaning in all this

a reason, a because

i do not

 

yet i am utterly dependent on the

tobacco farmer, the harvester

the manufacturer, the delivery driver

the retail seller

for this cigarette i light

while i spite that

we are not interconnected

 

all sex is unprotected

as we somehow know it is

more than evolutionary biological imperatives

whose seed sprouted and wrapped

around our spine

until it entwined

with the heart of our emotions

 

in other words

what the fuck do i know

as i take another pull

off this cigarette

and project my loneliness

into the safe harbor

of a nihilist

as a defense against

your expense

that we must first love ourselves

by saying nothing exist

beyond our percepts

cranial conception

is a deception

to which i raise rejection

like abraham sacrificing

his only begotten son

 

because after all is said and done

poetry isn’t fun

it’s just the tool we use

to harvest the crop

from seeds we plant in

infertile soil

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

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