absent from the pictures that are present in my mind

a wandering poet drinking the sky

i swallow the moon and laugh till i cry

there’s nothing inside me, no weed and no booze

now clean and sober is what i choose

i don’t say its better i just say it is

for over two weeks now it’s how i live

i still lay with women who think i’m all that

but where they see diamonds i know is just crap

the morning is making me dream of the night

coughing from cigarettes i gently ignite

nobody notices here in l.a.

i’m nothing that’s anything but in the way

goodbye to memories i killed with my past

i fried and inhaled and drank every glass

but nothing is something when nothing at all

is all that you claim is the sum of it all

i move without meaning my motions confirmed

the confines of gravity making me squirm

if you are enlightened then i am a god

but blindness and happiness will only defraud

i dance with the desert and drink till i’m dry

for beyond this moment it’s all just a lie

so why am i sober or not getting stoned

i don’t fucking know so leave me alone

in context of compromise destroy and create

but nothing exist after quarter to eight

the world that we live in will no longer be

i’ll move to a sandbar and marry the sea

kerouac died before he could quit

good chance i will vomit and return to it

but so far today no vomit i lick

but i am aware of the slow burning wick

that mocks my sweet mantra of just for today

if alpha is beta which role do you play

and my stream of consciousness floods all the plains

the stream requisitions from an endless rain

tainted or pure the banks overflow

and i’m always caught in its undertow

it’s not that i am tempted i’m just simply bored

i commit to your needling needs like a whore

and double the cigarettes i daily intake

a lone naked swimmer inside a shark tank

where a feeding frenzy devours my flesh

and i’m doing nothing to help me forget

and worse yet i wander without any aim

no higher ideas i try to attain

whether i do or whether i don’t

nothing’s accomplished if i will or i won’t

today i’m not doing is all i now know

if this is a joke i’m getting it slow

so many before me with their predilections

never could win the battle addiction

like cats trying to be on both sides of the door

my thumbs are opposing and still i want more

of all i could be or maybe could do

i don’t want to be a me that is you

with all of your constructs of what we should be

drunk, stoned or sober i’ll always be free

for i am not doing because that i should

as if something better will grow from the wood

no change in perspective towards all absolutes

just twenty pied pipers caressing their flutes

today i’m not doing, tomorrow don’t know

i’m not in the mood and that’s how it goes

so save all your mays for your april showers

i don’t lean on me or a higher power

there’s nothing to be no champion to cause

just is and then isn’t without a because

 

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