Monday, April 4, 2016

on a warm night in april


is love really a story

or are we ghosts on a snowy path

leaving no footprints as we travel?

 

everything is just a word

and even less it is just our

understanding of the meaning

of the word

 

a woman i wasn’t interested in

told me she use to be porn star

as if i needed to know the worse thing

about her before we could proceed

 

i told her i had her beat

that i am a poet incomplete

 

i kissed the softness of her cheek

walked out onto city streets

leaving another boring party

filled with people who chatter

about things as if they matter

 

i pulled a candy out of my pocket

a friend said the dispensary

always threw one in with his order

 

i let it melt in my mouth

while i lit a smoke

put in the ear bud from my phone

and played the black album

by project pitchfork

 

feeling much more at ease

apart from the tease

of human interaction

and the hope it will bring happiness

i started walking

on a warm night in april

 

i found my modicum of happiness

when i started letting me be me

no matter what the cost

even if payment in full may be due soon

 

people think my words dark

morbid

and that i will never know contentment

unless i leave all these words behind

not understanding that for the first time

i am at peace

accepting me

even if i am the only one

who accepts me this way

haunting the dark streets of decay

 

decadent stars can’t infiltrate

the artificial light of neon

and the travesty of torches

is that there are no monsters

to pursue

 

there’s just me and you

and all that you imagine

is imaginary

 

have you ever heard a canary

with a terrible voice?

or told a detached buddhist he was

aspiring to have no aspirations?

even the debris in the gutters i pass

meant something to someone

at some point

because and yes

everything is relevant

 

and i would rather walk alone

than atone for my loneliness

by being something other

than what i am

 

***

 

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